so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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