she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
