I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
