just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
