You just made me feel so damn special
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
