Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
