I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
