Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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