im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
