i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
