I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize