do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
