It's like God shit irony all over that family
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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