Already got asked if we're dating
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
