I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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