Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
