I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
