If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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