I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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