I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
