He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
bring money and cleavage
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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