shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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