I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
