I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
barbara walters just said penis...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
God I need to hump something, right now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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