I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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