they need to just BURY HIM!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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