you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
