new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
