Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
