Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize