get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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