marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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