it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
