Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
