biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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