at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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