If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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