How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
