You're so nebulous sometimes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
