Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
