I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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