If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
