and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize