its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just pynch a tree in the face
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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