You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
