If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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