I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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