So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize