Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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