i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize