you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
