A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
