So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
