This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
