He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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