you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
