i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
