last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
