never play flip cup with pint glasses
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
