Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
