WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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