that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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