You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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