so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i think my cat just said my name.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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