What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
