no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
